| You: | hi |
|---|---|
| Stranger: | hey |
| You: | wanna cyber |
| Stranger: | Depends are you a girl? ;) |
| You: | ya |
| Stranger: | And okay then, you start? |
| You: | i come into ur bedroom |
| You: | and ur sleeping |
| You: | and i crawl under your blanket |
| Stranger: | I'm still asleep |
| You: | u feel me pulling down ur pants |
| You: | and u wake up and smile |
| Stranger: | I kiss you gently, still sleepy |
| You: | then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed |
| You: | cutting off your penis |
| Stranger: | wait |
| You: | THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME |
| Stranger: | Then what...? |
| You: | I HATE YOU |
| Stranger: | I didn't cheat |
| You: | you bleed to death in your bed |
| Stranger: | i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok |
| You: | nobody ever knows what happened |
| You: | i flee to mexico with your Mercedes |
| You: | the end |
| Stranger: | I have a mercedes? |
| You: | not anymore faggot |
| Your conversation partner has disconnected. |
111298BUT ACTUALLY I JUST DIED
This should be on every dash. It’s so perfect.
(Source: quarteralert, via messing-with-sass-quatch)
dancingchimes-on-a-sunlit-porch:
OMG REBLOG THIS & LOOK AT UR BLOG ITS COMPLETELY DIFERENT
Me
iM CHIR YING BC THE WAY IT LOOKS ON YOUR BLOG SEND HELP
oh my
i dunt see it
EDIT***:
WHATTHE HELL.
…You had my curiosity…
[After]
WHAT THE JESUS FUCK IS THIS VOODOO?!
(I’ll try it
edit
WHAT)
how did you
WHAT
im so confused what is
wait oh
[after]
WTF!?!?!?!?!?! Someone get the fucking salt!Oh my god
how what why skjfhsdkfjh whoaushfkjf
i dont see it????
(Source: jesscookie)
mulan dont give a shit
mulan has run out of fucks to give
Mulan no curr
Mulan: “Gurl had it coming.”
Mulan: ” One less bitch, to worry about “
Mulan: “Who’s next?”
Mulan: “Look at all that dishonor”
I’M LAUGHING TO HARD AT THIS OMG
MULAN NO CURR
(via rosiedoll)
(Source: shit-thatblows, via fuckyeahlaughters)
iM LAUGHING LIKE A MANIAC MY RAT JUST WENT INSIDE MY BROTHER’S TOY CAR AND SAT IN THE FRONT SEAT
AM I SUPPOSE TO LAUGH AT THE RAT OR THE DOG
(Source: thebinarybinary, via damnthatswhatshesaid)
OMG REBLOG THIS & LOOK AT UR BLOG ITS COMPLETELY DIFERENT
(Source: jesscookie, via foreverasdfghjkl)
best one yet
i love that she stands there afterwards with the same look on her face as the rest of us
(via thathilariousasian)
To avoid getting pimples and various blemishes just saw your entire head off
(via theotherwilde)
